Parenting is something that can not be taught in a book or taught in words by someone. There is active parenting, which is authoritative, permissive, and Authoritarian. An active parent has respect and courage, they give responsibility to their children.
Authoritarians are discipline versus punishment/ reward. Also can be choice versus consequences = response and ability. Some people become failure to thrive. They are people that don't develop. In ways that children need to develop is through Contact and belonging , power, protection, withdrawal, and challenge. These are all items that need to be attended. With out all these items not being touched upon allows mistakes taken by the children. They go through a mistaken approach instead of having a parental approach. Parents need to model these items to be able to see affect when wanting children to have theses items. Such as being assertive and being forgiving. These can not be learned with out an example to be able to look at to be able to learn. When it comes to speaking to children about asking them to do things. From Popkins perspective you need to ask with a polite request. If this doesn't work you roll into a When you... I feel... Because... I would like... Statements. The last one is a firm statement, explaining what and why. When decided new responsibility like teens buying a car. Yes it is their car but to sit and talk about how if you speed than we will have to take the keys away for a bit or if you stay out later than you should we will need to take the keys away. These little things will build a good relationship and responsibility on these items. Yes it is theirs but they still understand that they need to follow rules. These things will help you in hard times of raising children but there is so much not to be told that you have to be able to learn as you go. Communication is key.
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